Beauty marks

Most commonly known as "door dings" beauty marks, as referred to by automotive enthusiasts, are the result of... well, how can i put it politely... the result of people not giving a flying shit about other people's property.

See... why should i care if you just purchased it and that it is absolutely flawless, is your symbol of achievement and your source of joy however large or small. Why should i care that you stood there staring at it for 5 minutes before you finally headed off. It is convenient for me to open the door of my car as wide and push it as forcefully as it takes to make sure it does not come back and make me spend my energy pushing it out again. It is convenient for me to hold that door open with my foot or just have it rest against whatever it is that it could rest on. Its is all about me you see, about what i need. I've earned it, i work, i do what i have to do, i have rights.

What was that? Did i hit your car? What's the big deal? My bumper is scraped front and back, it's just a damned car, it smells funky inside, well mine does, and i have to waste money fueling it up but it takes me here and there. Don't sweat it man, it still works, it's not like i rammed into you or something, no harm, right? What's that? You like to take care of your cars? You just bought this one? What does something like that run ya? $500/month? I would never pay that money, i just don't think spending that kind of money on a car is worth it.

"I" is the 9th letter in the alphabet yet I think it is never a bad time to start sentences with it. I am comfortable with "I" being number one.

Is that the thinking process here?

So let me get this straight, it is perfectly OK for me to pick my nose and wipe it on your suit while i am standing behind you in the elevator, right? No big deal, suit still works, right? What was i gonna do, wipe it on my pants? Oh, one is an accident and the other one is deliberate? Oh, i see what you are saying.

How about this... i really don't give a shit what day you are having because i am having a really bad one so i am not paying attention to anything as i march down the street. I completely do not notice the fact that i just walk right into you, making you spill your $7 styrofoam cup of hot mojo on your Polo as well as your Dockers. I honestly did not notice you standing there, little man. That will wash right out, no harm, right? I'll just keep on walking, no apology necessary, it's all good, all part of the daily thing, just a minor accident, right?

How about that for an analogy? Work our for you buddy?

So why am i bringing up the subject of door dings? Well, i just happened to be standing on my balcony, having a smokie treat (aka cancer stick, most commonly known as cigarette) with a glass of fine scotch, admiring the shine of a brand new Honda Accord just purchased by some tenant in our building when i see a guy come out of the back door (leading right to the parking area) head on to his Chrysler Pacifica minivan (or a crossover or SAV or whatever marketing spin is put on these things these days) parked next to the gleaming new Honda, open the driver's door and... wings it all the way out, slamming it against the brand new Accord. The guy actually makes sure his door is securely resting against the other man's vehicle before getting in. As he gets in (and he probably weighs over 200lb) his Pacifica settles ensuring that in addition to the ding there is now a vertical scratch as well. The guys gets comfortable behind the wheel, lets the car idle for 30 seconds and when he is completely satisfied with his aircon blowing out cool air, reaches out and closes his door. Hey neighbor, nice Accord you got there buddy, here is a little something from me to you - your very first beauty mark. Enjoy.

Did i mention that black paint, in addition to accenting all of the curves and details of a car also brings out every single imperfection and/or rash/damage? Yep, now you know it. Trust me, i've owned a black car years ago and in fact my current car (well, one of my current cars), an '08 Nissan 350Z is also black (on black). I know. Lucky me though, my Z sits in the underground garage where every parking space is permanently assigned so everyone knows everyone and chances of your car being hit are slim to none... people seem to act more civilized and show more respect for other people's property when they are under video surveillance. Hmmm, i wonder why...

I had to go through a mandatory sexual harassment training session not long ago, there is this law... to make a long story short, if you are a manager, director, VP, etc. you have to have these things every whatever years, so anyway... The only thing that you really take out of these meetings (and the fact that people actually need to go through training to understand this is really scary) is that what matters is how the other person perceives it. In other words be mindful of what your words or actions mean to the people around you. It is all in the eye of the beholder so to speak. So why the fuck don't they teach the same thing in driver's ed? Why don't they make people sign something when they register their car at the DMV, something that states "I have read and understand" with a very clear explanation (with pictures for idiots) of what might be perceived as negative in terms of how you treat other people's vehicles?

Wait... did i really suggest that last bit? Do we really need to go through "respect the fellow human being" training? Wow, the world is in worse shape than i thought.

Driving to work

Imagine a big cardboard box, something you would ship a refrigerator in. Now imagine it unfolded, flying across the highway from lane to lane. That and some crazy woman driving at 40mph in a 55mph zone (with traffic moving at over 65mph). Listening to 1010WINS thunderstorm and hail warnings for the day and thinking about having to leave work a bit early so that i could grab a good parking spot near my apartment building. That is how my commute to work went today.

2:22

My digital clock is showing 2:22 am. I realize that i have only 5 hours of sleep left yet i can't close my eyes.

Perhaps now is the perfect time to open my "Poetry and lyrics" topic.

Here is one i wrote, when i can't recall to be honest but anyway

Three simple words i had to say
Eight letters i had written down
I let them slowly fade away
Without letting out a sound

Three simple words that might have meant
Eight letters that just could have been
She'll never know what i had felt
Inside my heart, under my skin

Perhaps it wasn't meant to be
Or maybe wasn't there at all
Some days i happen to agree
Sometimes i struggle to recall

The words that i must leave unsaid
Perhaps there'll be another time
To color them in shades of red
Inside the faintly dotted line

Categories

I wish i could categorize everything so that you don't have to waste time scrolling through subject matter that does not interest you... maybe i will try wordpress.

Never mind, i was quickly shown the error of my ways. Labels!

The Happening (2008) - movie review

Writer/director/egomaniac M. Night Shyamalan should be making commercials and music videos. I'm sorry that had to be the first thing you read but i honestly think that he'd be great at it.

See, the problem with The Happening (just like Lady in the Water and The Village actually) is that the story is told beautifully. I mean the attention paid to every detail, the orchestrated balance of sights and sounds, the timing, the camera angles - perfection in motion, but... the story can be summed up in 2 sentences at most and as in the case of The Happening it is a story that is not particularly interesting.

In other words - Mr. Shyamalan does have a talent of making even the most absurd look breathtaking and if he only rediscovered that which gave birth to The Sixth Sense the world would be a better place. Until that time he should really stick to making commercials - that industry is in constant need to make stuff nobody really needs look delicious enough to consume. That and music videos (for the same purpose).

You don't have to read further if you don't want to. The movie is terrible for the most part and i am going to attempt to humor myself just to compensate for the 91 minutes of my life that i will never get back by giving you the bad and the good with my short commentaries.

First the bad stuff. I'll save you the time and just bullet it out:

• Mark Wahlberg stars as…Mark Wahlberg... either that or he was just too upset about being dragged into this movie to think about his character (or lack of such).
  
• John Leguizamo is probably the highlight of the whole movie. Too bad he dies as fast as everyone in the movie theater falls asleep.
• Zooey Deschanel is no doubt a capable (and very beautiful) actress, too bad it looked like she was reading lines from a different script.
• There is no twist or plot change to speak of. What you "get" during the first 15 minutes of the movie stays throughout the whole painful experience until it and the movie end in perfect harmony.
• There is absolutely no character development. The most interesting character is the guy who was calling Zooey (Alma Moore) on the phone (2 or 3 times). The guy she talks with for about 7.2 seconds... about having desert together and obviously terminating the relationship as soon as they got the check.
  
• It (the happening) is being talked about (in the movie) as being a very short event. Please, it was long enough. The whole thing (both the event and the movie) could have been wrapped up in under 10 minutes - the effect would have been the same.
• And finally - Spoiler: The whole movie is about global warming or something along the lines. We are destroying our planet (and we are by the way) like damned parasites so it (the planet) politely notifies us that it would like us to stop. Since it (the planet) can not talk or communicate with us in any way or form it decides to serve up the "warning" by killing a few thousand people, leaving the rest wondering "what the fuck was all that about?". I just hope this does not mean there is going to be a sequel, you know, another warning for the remaining population that didn't get the first one.

Now the good stuff (hey, i am optimistic by nature... pun intended):

• Mark Wahlberg is a good actor and thus you'll be comforted thinking that he suffered way more than you did since the filming of this movie must have taken well over 91 minutes so if he could stick it out it should be no sweat for you.
  
• John Leguizamo slit his wrists early in the movie - good for him, he got off easy.
• Zooey Deschanel was so absent from the whole "event" that all i can think is that she must have been day dreaming about all of the scripts and proposals she must be getting these days so be happy for her as well.
• And finally - besides the salaries the studios could not have possibly spent that much on filming trees, bushes, grass and... the wind. Not such a big loss, nothing world-wide DVD distribution can't cover.

Verdict: 3/10

Commercials Mr. Shyamalan, think about it.

The Incredible Hulk (2008) - movie review

So i went to see The Incredible Hulk today. Expectations were high, too high i was worried.

15 minutes into the movie i thought "hmmm... this sure does not seem like the trash the last Hulk movie was". 30 minutes into the movie i was thinking "Edward Norton is surely on the of the finest actors of my lifetime as he gives even a straight forward action flick underlying meaning".

By the time the movie reached half-time i was hooked. I was loving it.

I have to admit, i was a bit afraid to see sub-par CGI on the Hulk but they did a pretty good job, no complaints here.

Action is abundant, plot very straight forward yet not as dry as one might expect, acting is top notch, effects are gorgeous and dialog well sprinkled into the whole mix. Overall the movie has big bold flavor and provides great entertainment for children and their parents at the same time.

Score one more for Marvel (hot on the trail of Iron Man which was a blast as well). Now i will be eagerly anticipating Iron Man 2, Hulk 2 and... The Avengers.

P.S. Previews before the movie were awesome as well. Wanted which is coming out on the 27th should be one wild ride.

Verdict: 8/10

Rock on Marvel.

The Incredible Hulk - movie expectations

Honestly, if not for the cast i would have passed on this new remake (following the previous flop of the 2003 Hulk) of The Incredible Hulk. In fact i would have scheduled my viewing of this movie for a sleepless Sunday night usually reserved for mindless flipping through TV stations. Yet i am about to go see it in the movie theater. What gives?

I must say i am not opposed to superhero movies, in fact i thought that Iron Man totally rocked. Given the technological advancement of special effects these days (lets face it, the plot is usually pretty thin when it comes to superheroes), i think that superhero movies are all about the dialog and the casting. Robert Downey Jr was absolutely perfect in the role of Tony Stark. Nobody could do it better. Another example is Tobey Maguire being the perfect match for the role of Spiderman. Who can leave out Christian Bale who might just be the absolute definition of Batman?

This brings me to the following: Edward Norton and Tim Roth - two of my favorite actors and William Hurt to boot? Sign me up.

Expectations? As high as they can be given the genre. Review to follow.