Beauty marks

Most commonly known as "door dings" beauty marks, as referred to by automotive enthusiasts, are the result of... well, how can i put it politely... the result of people not giving a flying shit about other people's property.

See... why should i care if you just purchased it and that it is absolutely flawless, is your symbol of achievement and your source of joy however large or small. Why should i care that you stood there staring at it for 5 minutes before you finally headed off. It is convenient for me to open the door of my car as wide and push it as forcefully as it takes to make sure it does not come back and make me spend my energy pushing it out again. It is convenient for me to hold that door open with my foot or just have it rest against whatever it is that it could rest on. Its is all about me you see, about what i need. I've earned it, i work, i do what i have to do, i have rights.

What was that? Did i hit your car? What's the big deal? My bumper is scraped front and back, it's just a damned car, it smells funky inside, well mine does, and i have to waste money fueling it up but it takes me here and there. Don't sweat it man, it still works, it's not like i rammed into you or something, no harm, right? What's that? You like to take care of your cars? You just bought this one? What does something like that run ya? $500/month? I would never pay that money, i just don't think spending that kind of money on a car is worth it.

"I" is the 9th letter in the alphabet yet I think it is never a bad time to start sentences with it. I am comfortable with "I" being number one.

Is that the thinking process here?

So let me get this straight, it is perfectly OK for me to pick my nose and wipe it on your suit while i am standing behind you in the elevator, right? No big deal, suit still works, right? What was i gonna do, wipe it on my pants? Oh, one is an accident and the other one is deliberate? Oh, i see what you are saying.

How about this... i really don't give a shit what day you are having because i am having a really bad one so i am not paying attention to anything as i march down the street. I completely do not notice the fact that i just walk right into you, making you spill your $7 styrofoam cup of hot mojo on your Polo as well as your Dockers. I honestly did not notice you standing there, little man. That will wash right out, no harm, right? I'll just keep on walking, no apology necessary, it's all good, all part of the daily thing, just a minor accident, right?

How about that for an analogy? Work our for you buddy?

So why am i bringing up the subject of door dings? Well, i just happened to be standing on my balcony, having a smokie treat (aka cancer stick, most commonly known as cigarette) with a glass of fine scotch, admiring the shine of a brand new Honda Accord just purchased by some tenant in our building when i see a guy come out of the back door (leading right to the parking area) head on to his Chrysler Pacifica minivan (or a crossover or SAV or whatever marketing spin is put on these things these days) parked next to the gleaming new Honda, open the driver's door and... wings it all the way out, slamming it against the brand new Accord. The guy actually makes sure his door is securely resting against the other man's vehicle before getting in. As he gets in (and he probably weighs over 200lb) his Pacifica settles ensuring that in addition to the ding there is now a vertical scratch as well. The guys gets comfortable behind the wheel, lets the car idle for 30 seconds and when he is completely satisfied with his aircon blowing out cool air, reaches out and closes his door. Hey neighbor, nice Accord you got there buddy, here is a little something from me to you - your very first beauty mark. Enjoy.

Did i mention that black paint, in addition to accenting all of the curves and details of a car also brings out every single imperfection and/or rash/damage? Yep, now you know it. Trust me, i've owned a black car years ago and in fact my current car (well, one of my current cars), an '08 Nissan 350Z is also black (on black). I know. Lucky me though, my Z sits in the underground garage where every parking space is permanently assigned so everyone knows everyone and chances of your car being hit are slim to none... people seem to act more civilized and show more respect for other people's property when they are under video surveillance. Hmmm, i wonder why...

I had to go through a mandatory sexual harassment training session not long ago, there is this law... to make a long story short, if you are a manager, director, VP, etc. you have to have these things every whatever years, so anyway... The only thing that you really take out of these meetings (and the fact that people actually need to go through training to understand this is really scary) is that what matters is how the other person perceives it. In other words be mindful of what your words or actions mean to the people around you. It is all in the eye of the beholder so to speak. So why the fuck don't they teach the same thing in driver's ed? Why don't they make people sign something when they register their car at the DMV, something that states "I have read and understand" with a very clear explanation (with pictures for idiots) of what might be perceived as negative in terms of how you treat other people's vehicles?

Wait... did i really suggest that last bit? Do we really need to go through "respect the fellow human being" training? Wow, the world is in worse shape than i thought.

Driving to work

Imagine a big cardboard box, something you would ship a refrigerator in. Now imagine it unfolded, flying across the highway from lane to lane. That and some crazy woman driving at 40mph in a 55mph zone (with traffic moving at over 65mph). Listening to 1010WINS thunderstorm and hail warnings for the day and thinking about having to leave work a bit early so that i could grab a good parking spot near my apartment building. That is how my commute to work went today.

People and things

I don't remember where or when i read this article but it basically said that a study showed that people don't like to interact with other people. The example used was the supermarket where the vast majority of people would prefer automated checkouts vs. dealing with a living breathing cashier. People embrace the internet because you just don't have to deal with anyone if you don't want to. There is always the "log off" button and things that happen on the web don't really have any impact on real life, at least not unless you want them to.

Forget the internet, we don't seem to want to notice each-other on the street. A friendly smile is often treated as a sign of mental problems or worse... Accidentally making bare skin contact with another is making us uncomfortable. A man openly looking at a beautiful woman, admiring her as god's work of art may be judged as a weirdo. We lost the art of chivalry, a woman needs to thank a man holding the door for her as it is no longer expected by default. We leave items we decided against buying wherever we stand in the supermarket - it is someone else's job to put them back on the right shelf, right? We don't mind hitting another car as we park or open the door to get out of the car, it is just a ding, right? We don't mind sitting in the crowded bus with an elderly standing right in front of us, we have the right to do so, no?

Are we giving up on each-other? or is it just that we are too busy piling on that tough skin armor that we fail to notice each-other? I mean really notice each-other. Not as objects that we just need to get around, get by or deal with until we don't have to any more but as human beings. Have we lost respect for other people's feelings? For other people's property? Values? Ideals and principles?

Tomorrow say hi to someone you don't know. Smile at someone you've never met before. Thank someone you don't have to, call someone you have not called in a long time, make a new friend, take a new chance and tell someone its all going to be just fine.