The Happening (2008) - movie review

Writer/director/egomaniac M. Night Shyamalan should be making commercials and music videos. I'm sorry that had to be the first thing you read but i honestly think that he'd be great at it.

See, the problem with The Happening (just like Lady in the Water and The Village actually) is that the story is told beautifully. I mean the attention paid to every detail, the orchestrated balance of sights and sounds, the timing, the camera angles - perfection in motion, but... the story can be summed up in 2 sentences at most and as in the case of The Happening it is a story that is not particularly interesting.

In other words - Mr. Shyamalan does have a talent of making even the most absurd look breathtaking and if he only rediscovered that which gave birth to The Sixth Sense the world would be a better place. Until that time he should really stick to making commercials - that industry is in constant need to make stuff nobody really needs look delicious enough to consume. That and music videos (for the same purpose).

You don't have to read further if you don't want to. The movie is terrible for the most part and i am going to attempt to humor myself just to compensate for the 91 minutes of my life that i will never get back by giving you the bad and the good with my short commentaries.

First the bad stuff. I'll save you the time and just bullet it out:

• Mark Wahlberg stars as…Mark Wahlberg... either that or he was just too upset about being dragged into this movie to think about his character (or lack of such).
  
• John Leguizamo is probably the highlight of the whole movie. Too bad he dies as fast as everyone in the movie theater falls asleep.
• Zooey Deschanel is no doubt a capable (and very beautiful) actress, too bad it looked like she was reading lines from a different script.
• There is no twist or plot change to speak of. What you "get" during the first 15 minutes of the movie stays throughout the whole painful experience until it and the movie end in perfect harmony.
• There is absolutely no character development. The most interesting character is the guy who was calling Zooey (Alma Moore) on the phone (2 or 3 times). The guy she talks with for about 7.2 seconds... about having desert together and obviously terminating the relationship as soon as they got the check.
  
• It (the happening) is being talked about (in the movie) as being a very short event. Please, it was long enough. The whole thing (both the event and the movie) could have been wrapped up in under 10 minutes - the effect would have been the same.
• And finally - Spoiler: The whole movie is about global warming or something along the lines. We are destroying our planet (and we are by the way) like damned parasites so it (the planet) politely notifies us that it would like us to stop. Since it (the planet) can not talk or communicate with us in any way or form it decides to serve up the "warning" by killing a few thousand people, leaving the rest wondering "what the fuck was all that about?". I just hope this does not mean there is going to be a sequel, you know, another warning for the remaining population that didn't get the first one.

Now the good stuff (hey, i am optimistic by nature... pun intended):

• Mark Wahlberg is a good actor and thus you'll be comforted thinking that he suffered way more than you did since the filming of this movie must have taken well over 91 minutes so if he could stick it out it should be no sweat for you.
  
• John Leguizamo slit his wrists early in the movie - good for him, he got off easy.
• Zooey Deschanel was so absent from the whole "event" that all i can think is that she must have been day dreaming about all of the scripts and proposals she must be getting these days so be happy for her as well.
• And finally - besides the salaries the studios could not have possibly spent that much on filming trees, bushes, grass and... the wind. Not such a big loss, nothing world-wide DVD distribution can't cover.

Verdict: 3/10

Commercials Mr. Shyamalan, think about it.